....and we're off!

My first step in this process was to first do another progesterone challenge. I then was told to order my prescription medicine for when we would begin simulating my ovaries with FSH and LH to help me have a cycle. Unfortunately, neither my prescriptions nor any infertility treatments were covered by my insurance so all of our costs after diagnoses were out of pocket. Because of this we opted to find the cheapest route for the prescription medicine. The doctor was able to send me to a common website where a lot of his patients bought prescriptions from overseas in the UK.   So I ordered the very expensive medication from this website and realized there was no turning back now!

This time on progesterone I took a different type of medicine in hopes that my period would appear. Ten days later nothing happened, no aunt flow. So I called the doctor they said to come in for an ultrasound to check everything out. My husband and I went to the doctor’s appointment. The doctor said everything looked good and that the reason I didn't have a period was due to the condition I had. He said it was time to start me on the hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) injections.  I was glad I had injection training earlier that week as I was instructed to start injections that night! At this time a lot of emotion came over me including excitement and apprehension. We were actually starting this journey and this was all becoming very real.

I knew the first injection would have to be done by my mother in order for me to get comfortable on how it would feel. I knew my husband giving me the injection was not an option as he was not good with needles what so ever. I was told to administer my medication between the hours of 6 – 10pm. I decided for the first one it would be easiest to get it out of the way and do it right at 6pm. So at 6pm we traveled over to my parents’ house with my medicine and needles.  I mixed the medicine and then changed the syringe needle. I numbed the upper hip area on my right side with an ice cube for the injection. My mom wiped off the area with an alcohol swap and performed the injection. This procedure was actually not as bad as I thought it might have been. It kind of stung as the medicine was injected but other than that I immediately walked around after the needle was removed in hope that I would get the muscle moving and relaxed again.  I then went on with the rest of my evening and didn't even notice what was done to me.

The first injection was down. I had three more days of the same procedures and then I was going back to the doctor for an ultrasound to see how I was responding to the medicine. And at this time I was absolutely limited on my activity. I was only walking and doing yoga as I didn't want anything to happen to my ovaries on accident and I figured I spent all this money on medicine and doctor appointments I better do everything in my power to ensure it works! 

The big hurdle

At this point I was struggling with what decision and direction to go. Do I try to solve this in a natural way or do I proceed with a reproductive endocrinologist? The reason for this was because I grew up in a household that used mostly alternative medicine since I was about ten years old. Western medicine and visits to a M.D. wasn't the norm in my family. My mother chose to take us to a chiropractor who was also a homeopathic doctor. In fact, I don't think I've even had an over the counter medicine in over 20 years except when I had my wisdom teeth out. I was really torn on whether I felt using heavy duty drugs to try to get pregnant. And I was really afraid of how particularly my mother would react. At this point she did not know of anything I was going through or any information about my condition.

I luckily was able to lean on my husband and the few friends who knew what was going on for advice. After one specific conversation with one of my best friends I was able to come to a conclusion. I was going to proceed with treatment and with the doctor who I had just met with. 

Now the hard part was ahead: tell my mother. Unfortunately, the timing of this decision was right before a major holiday and a big international delayed honeymoon with my husband. I went through around several ideas on how I would tell her including writing a letter but ultimately decided in person when I got back would be the best. 

I first told my sister, which is typically how I get a good feeling on how my parents will react on different things. I also knew my sister would support me in whatever decision I made. I then told my mom by stopping over her house for lunch. Except I had been battling a bad stomach bug all week so she ate I sat and hung out. After catching up since I hadn't seen her in a few weeks I finally broke down and told her what was going on. She of course was supportive but had lots of questions. Mostly questions of the risks involved and other things I've done to try to fix the issue which had included six months of several homeopathic methods which didn't seem to make one difference at all. I explained to her that I was tired of spinning my wheels and spending a bunch of money on natural treatments that didn't seem to be working at all. I was ready to try something different and I was willing to make the sacrifices I knew I had to in order to start a family. She thankfully understood my decision and even volunteered to attend the injection training the following week with my incase I needed help with administering the medicine. That was probably the best feeling in the world at that time. I felt so much better after having this hurdle out of the way and this talk off my chest. 

Giving up my favorite hobbies

I knew once I got pregnant I would have to change my lifestyle a bit but after everything I've learned I quickly realized my life would have to be changing a lot sooner. I knew if I decided to go through with the treatment my physical fitness routines would be drastically changing. So in order to really prepare myself for the changes regardless of the route I went I decided I'd give myself a deadline. My deadline was a CrossFit competition here locally and after the competition I would start making changes.

I pushed myself really hard to perform well at the competition. I called it my last hurrah and I sure did make a great last performance. I ended up placing 2nd overall in the scaled division. This was the icing on the cake but I knew that also meant my time had come. I would be giving up CrossFit and soccer. And of course running and anything else that could be high intensity. I was pretty much going to be limited to walking, elliptical, yoga and some light bodyweight exercises. 

I know it sounds so trivial to give up exercise and some might be rejoicing to stop exercise but for me it was a rough thought to overcome. As many people know exercise is a part of me. It's my de-stresser. It's my favorite hobby. It's been a big part of my life for the last few years. It's brought new opportunities and friends. I have a full set up of CrossFit equipment in my garage for gosh sake. I knew this was going to be a rough change but I also knew it would all be worth it in the end!

I wanted a family more than I wanted or needed CrossFit, soccer, running, or whatever I wasn't able to do. I would just find a way to love walking and yoga instead. I decided to look at this new adventure in a positive way. 

Second Opinion

After the experience at the first RE office I was open to looking into different doctors and their opinions about treatment for my condition. I luckily was able to find a doctor who a friend has used and been successful with twice. This doctor came highly recommended and also known as one of the best RE doctors in the city. I was able to get in for a consultation pretty quickly and was very interested in learning what he had to say.

My first meeting with this doctor was great. He was very honest and was straight to the point. He said yes, you do indeed have HA and explained that there was really only one pathway for me to get pregnant. He would immediately direct me to injectable medication. He stated that no other lower dose oral treatments would work for my condition. This immediately took my by surprise since that was not the impression I got with the first doctor.

He also mentioned that if I had come to him first he would not have recommended a MRI due to my medical history and also physical activity history as an athlete. He was absolutely positive something happened to my hormones and hypothalamus when I lost 20 pounds in spring of 2012. And that for some reason by body did not readjust over time nor when I gained some of the weight back.

He stated that even if I did gain weight back there was no guarantee that my cycle would come back either which was one of my questions. He said he actually did research on this topic as a fellow. He saw several ballerinas bounce back with a cycle after being injured and not able to dance but soccer players and runner were hit or miss. Some gained a cycle back and some didn't after reducing their amount of exercise. This made me feel a little better about the lifestyle I had accustomed to with following a clean, mostly paleo diet and doing CrossFit which I had thought was healthy and good for my health.

After my meeting I knew I now had some thinking and consideration to do as there were risks, sacrifices, and lots of money involved in the treatments that were recommended.

What is Hypothalamic Amenorrhea?

Hypothalamic Amenorrhea (HA) in brief is a condition in which menstruation stops for several months due to a problem involving the hypothalamus. Hormones obviously play a crucial role in every step of a successful pregnancy. The hypothalamus in the center of the brain controls reproduction. It produces the hormone, gonadotropin releasing hormone (GnRH). GnRH signals the production of other hormones needed for the egg to mature and for ovulation, such as follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) and after ovulation, progesterone luteinizing hormone (LH). In turn, FSH and LH signal the ovaries to produce estrogen. Estrogen thins the cervical mucus and, along with progesterone, prepares the uterus for a fertilized egg. Sometimes the hypothalamus stops producing GnRH, which in turn, will reduce the amount of other hormones produced (FSH, LH, and estrogen). Ovulation and menstruation stop, resulting in infertility.
(source: http://www.shadygrovefertility.com/hypothalamic-amenorrhea)

So this is what the science behind my condition and how my brain doesn't work correctly to produce the hormones needed to have a cycle. A fun fact about this condition is that only 5% of the population has this condition but it is treatable. So at least I have that going for me even if I am in the minority!

Who I am?

I'm from the grand city of Cincinnati and I'm proud of it. I love this city and don't plan on leaving anytime soon! I married my best friend in July 2014 after dating for over 8 years! We had a wedding with 250+ of our closest friends and family and began our journey as husband and wife on our honeymoon.

I personally have feel in love with health and fitness since college. I've adapted to the paleo lifestyle of eating and following CrossFit style workouts for quite some time. Both of these items have made a huge impact on my life and I thank the universe for bringing them into my life. It's changed how I go about my life, created friendships I would never have had before, and given me a rather expensive hobby! Most of my friends know I love CrossFit a lot but I try not to be one of those people who ONLY talk about CrossFit and nothing else. I do have a lot more to me than that!

I work for a large retail chain and love my job. I enjoy being involved in my community and am involved in several organizations around the city giving back to the community. I love to cook and I'm a terrible baker from scratch but I'm getting better! I enjoy doing projects around the house and watching a good movie time to time. I enjoy traveling to new places and have a goal to travel to all 50 US states. 

That's me in a nut shell! 

The back story....part 1

I should have started this blog about two months ago but here I am finally finding time and the courage to write this all down. My husband and I wanted to start a family shortly after we got married. we knew were going to wait until the beginning of the year due to some end of the year international travel.

Our story started when I finally started to investigate why I wasn't having a regular monthly cycle. And when I say not having one I'm not talking irregular I'm talking none, zero, zip. In fact, I hadn't had a natural one that wasn't induced by birth control for over two and a half years. So my ob-gyn recommended me to a reproductive endocrinologist (RE) to figure out what was going on. After some medical history, blood tests, and an MRI of the brain, it was confirmed I had hypothalamic amenorrhea. In a nut shell hypothalamic amenorrhea is a condition in which menstruation stops for several months due to a problem involving the hypothalamus but more on this later in another post.   

If I had known more and cared more to really find out what was wrong with my body I probably would have realized this is what I had awhile ago when I was given the progesterone challenge which I indeed failed. But at that time of my life that kids were the last thing I was worried about and I really didn't know what kind of trouble I might be in when it came to actually wanting to get pregnant. Reproductive health wasn't on my mind nor priority list and my ob-gyn didn't seem to think it really was a problem so I went on doing my thing. Hindsight 20/20 I should have further investigated but I didn't know what I didn't know. 

So that brings us to my diagnoses and what I needed to do to move forward with starting a family. The first RE I went to who ultimately first diagnosed me mentioned all the typical fertility methods and the progression he would recommend for me. First the most common clomid, then something stronger, then injectables if those two didn't work, and then of course the ultimate course of action IVF. Unfortunately, I did not mesh well with the doctor nor the medical staff at this RE office. After several frustrations trying to get through to talk to the medical staff I was on the search for possibly another RE. At this time is also when I started to share my condition with a select number of friends who I knew had been through some kind of fertility struggles and started to learn more. 

I cannot be more thankful for those friends that have been placed in my life in the last few years that were so willing to open up and share their experiences. It can be said that people come into your life for a specific reason although at the time you may not realize exactly why. I now 100% believe that saying and I cannot believe how lucky I've been to have those friends who have been so supportive since day 1 of my journey! 

Why I started this blog!

I'm not much of a blogger. I have had a few that I wrote a few entries in then forgot and got busy with other stuff but I always find it interesting to go back and read the old posts and remember things from my past. So I've decided to start a blog. I'm not sure which way it will go and how in depth I may or not get into my life. I just want to remember these memories for a long time and this is the best place for me to make sure that happens!