I
get it. Once you find out your pregnant you initially are super excited and
wonder how life will change. You then start wondering what the gender is, what
you’ll name the kid, and how you’ll decorate the nursery. I understand
pregnancy is exciting, well for most, but is also one of those things where so
much has to go right it is sometimes amazing to think about how many people are
on this earth! Yeah you’re right most couples do not even ever let this thought
cross their mind but if you have been faced with heartbreak and realize things don’t
always go as planned you can’t help to think about it.
Most
couples once they get past the 12 week mark and tell their family and friends
their expecting the next question people ask is “are you going to find out the
gender?” These days this is a typical practice. Not many parents or anyone who
knows the baby is surprised at the time of birth of the gender or name for that
matter. Yes, I understand why one would look forward to the 20 week ultrasound but
what people don’t realize is that this ultrasound is not performed for the sole
reason of finding out the gender of their baby. The priority of the ultrasound
is not for finding out the gender nor is that a requirement.
The
20 week ultrasound is actually referred to in the medical world as a
level II 20 week anatomy scan. The purpose of this very important appointment
is to look at all the anatomy of the baby. There is an entire list the
ultrasound technician is taught to follow and check out. They look at the
heart, brain, kidneys, stomach, hands, feet, leg bones, arm bones, etc. They
make sure the locations of the organs are on the correct side of the body. And
lastly if the baby is in a good position they will look at the exterior sex
organs.
The
reason they look at all of these items of the body is to pick up any potential
soft markers that might indicate a problem with how the baby has grown. Coming
from a pregnancy where I had a level II ultrasound at 15 weeks for the sole
reason of looking for soft markers and then an amniocentesis, I can’t say I
have been in a normal 20 week anatomy scan but what I can say is that every new
area the ultrasound technician looks at in the future I’ll be holding my breath
just waiting for their response on whether it looks normal or not because who
am I kidding I can barely make out the basic anatomy of the head, rump, arms,
and legs of an ultrasound photo.
So
to all my friends I’m super excited for you and your new little one on the way
but regardless whether you decide to find out the gender (props to all of you
who don’t, I don’t think I could do that!) when I ask how your 20 week
ultrasound went I don’t want the first thing out of your mouth to be to be “it’s
a girl” or “it’s a boy.” I’m asking because I have been one of those women who
have sat there watching soft markers show up on the screen. I have also been
there hearing stories from friends who went into that scan hoping to confirm
the gender and walking out not even knowing or caring because of what else was
discovered. I want to know everything is looking good with your little bundle
of joy because I worry for everyone whether they worry themselves or even know
I think about them often. In my book, the first thing I want for everyone is a
healthy baby regardless of the gender including for myself although I
understand you can want one gender over the other. I cannot deny I have those preferences
as well but only after clean bill of health of course! So please tell me everything looked great and then tell me the gender (if you found out) so I can start planning a creative baby gift!
A
word of caution to anyone in the future who asks me “what I’m having” after my
20 week ultrasound, I will not reply girl or boy whether I know or not and
regardless whether my husband and decide we will share the gender news with
friends and family. I will simply reply “it’s a puppy.” :)
