Year One in Reflection

Where did the last few months go? I feel like as soon as June hit time as flown by. I actually feel like the last 7 months since I started this blog have been years rather than months since so much has gone on. My husband and I recently celebrated our one year wedding anniversary last month. This was a perfect time to reflect on the things we’ve done together in the last year as well as look back on the challenges we’ve overcome together.

After our wedding we traveled to Disney World and Harry Potter world and realized we are too old for intense roller coasters. We had an enjoyable football season at the temporary playing location for our beloved alma mater. We took advantage of my work trip to Denver and got to experience the Rocky Mountains for the first time. We enjoyed the holidays together as a married couple and then traveled to the other side of the world to Australia. We survived two 12 hours plus plane rides and 24 hour travel days together. We explored three absolutely new cities together in a foreign country. 

Since the turn of the new year we've been on quite the roller coaster ride. We began our fertility journey and got really lucky with success on the first try. I think we all know what happened in May when we said goodbye to our little one without being able to say hello. After that we were able to get away to Florida for a holiday weekend with my family. Once we returned I had a cyst removed from my face that had been bothering me for months but I had been putting off. We also had a lot of work done around our house which kept us on our toes but also set us up for some great pool parties and sunsets this summer. 

Once I was finally cleared to do any activity again I decided to take full advantage of it. We gathered some friends and went to skyzone. I took advantage of being in LA for work and took a trip to Disneyland and rode all the rides. The 2015 All-Star Game was in our city and we did almost every fan event. We went on a scavenger hunt around the city for the All Star Mustaches. We spent a morning exploring All Star Fan Fest. Since the game month coincided with anniversary month we choose to exchange tickets for both the All Star Game and the Home Run Derby. After all the tickets were "paper", right? We also experienced the zip line that went through the entertainment district near the ball park. All Star week was quite the adventure and so exciting to be a part of. 

Now August is here and I can't believe that summer is almost over. Reflecting on the last year as a married couple (which might be my new year in review timeline vs. the new year) and specifically the last few months life has presented us with many challenges. We have been able to overcome those challenges and I think they've only made us stronger together. Yes, this is getting a little sappy but I really cannot imagine life any other way. I wish some of the circumstances had gone a little different but in the end we seem to be happy, healthy, and doing well. Some days are harder than others and some situations continue to challenge us. I know we will continue to carry on and we'll be ready to tackle that next bump in the road whenever we might hit one again. 

Embracing the Present

In attempt to embrace the fact that I was not pregnant any longer, I told my husband I wanted to do all the things I could not do while I was pregnant.  That included eating sushi, having a few drinks, eating lunch meat, doing all workout movements I wanted, and lastly going to Skyzone. I figured if this is the present state I was going to be in I was going to take advantage of it! It wasn't my ideal situation but it was the cards I was dealt so I was going to roll with it.

I successfully hit one of those pregnant avoidance's the day after our termination at our favorite sushi joint with a large plate of sashimi. I secondly enjoyed a nice glass of red wine in Florida the week following. I've definitely had my fair share of lunch meat and have been doing every high impact workout activity as soon as I was release to exercise again. And lastly a month following the termination I made it to Skyzone to jump on the trampolines and do some flips into the foam pit.

Now don’t get me wrong I wish my situation was different but I am trying to continue to live my life to the fullest. I’m going to take advantage of every opportunity I’m given. I happened to have a work trip planned to California and then Arizona and my sister had planned to tag along for the first part of the trip to spend some time in the Cali sun. At the time we had not planned to go to Disneyland since I would not have been able to ride the rides but since my condition had changed we decided to go to Disney’s California Adventure. I made sure we rode all the roller coasters and any other ride I could get my sister to ride. I was getting my money’s worth as well as soaking up this opportunity that had been presented.  

So presently as my husband and I are grieving, healing, and trying to look at the brightside of life  we are going to enjoy some fun times together as a couple and with friends and family. I found comfort in this quote by the one and only Budda,  "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." This is what I will try to do for the next few months as I adjust to my life experiences in the last few months and try not to think about the future of our family too much although I know that will be the hard part. 

The back story....part 1

I should have started this blog about two months ago but here I am finally finding time and the courage to write this all down. My husband and I wanted to start a family shortly after we got married. we knew were going to wait until the beginning of the year due to some end of the year international travel.

Our story started when I finally started to investigate why I wasn't having a regular monthly cycle. And when I say not having one I'm not talking irregular I'm talking none, zero, zip. In fact, I hadn't had a natural one that wasn't induced by birth control for over two and a half years. So my ob-gyn recommended me to a reproductive endocrinologist (RE) to figure out what was going on. After some medical history, blood tests, and an MRI of the brain, it was confirmed I had hypothalamic amenorrhea. In a nut shell hypothalamic amenorrhea is a condition in which menstruation stops for several months due to a problem involving the hypothalamus but more on this later in another post.   

If I had known more and cared more to really find out what was wrong with my body I probably would have realized this is what I had awhile ago when I was given the progesterone challenge which I indeed failed. But at that time of my life that kids were the last thing I was worried about and I really didn't know what kind of trouble I might be in when it came to actually wanting to get pregnant. Reproductive health wasn't on my mind nor priority list and my ob-gyn didn't seem to think it really was a problem so I went on doing my thing. Hindsight 20/20 I should have further investigated but I didn't know what I didn't know. 

So that brings us to my diagnoses and what I needed to do to move forward with starting a family. The first RE I went to who ultimately first diagnosed me mentioned all the typical fertility methods and the progression he would recommend for me. First the most common clomid, then something stronger, then injectables if those two didn't work, and then of course the ultimate course of action IVF. Unfortunately, I did not mesh well with the doctor nor the medical staff at this RE office. After several frustrations trying to get through to talk to the medical staff I was on the search for possibly another RE. At this time is also when I started to share my condition with a select number of friends who I knew had been through some kind of fertility struggles and started to learn more. 

I cannot be more thankful for those friends that have been placed in my life in the last few years that were so willing to open up and share their experiences. It can be said that people come into your life for a specific reason although at the time you may not realize exactly why. I now 100% believe that saying and I cannot believe how lucky I've been to have those friends who have been so supportive since day 1 of my journey!