Year One in Reflection

Where did the last few months go? I feel like as soon as June hit time as flown by. I actually feel like the last 7 months since I started this blog have been years rather than months since so much has gone on. My husband and I recently celebrated our one year wedding anniversary last month. This was a perfect time to reflect on the things we’ve done together in the last year as well as look back on the challenges we’ve overcome together.

After our wedding we traveled to Disney World and Harry Potter world and realized we are too old for intense roller coasters. We had an enjoyable football season at the temporary playing location for our beloved alma mater. We took advantage of my work trip to Denver and got to experience the Rocky Mountains for the first time. We enjoyed the holidays together as a married couple and then traveled to the other side of the world to Australia. We survived two 12 hours plus plane rides and 24 hour travel days together. We explored three absolutely new cities together in a foreign country. 

Since the turn of the new year we've been on quite the roller coaster ride. We began our fertility journey and got really lucky with success on the first try. I think we all know what happened in May when we said goodbye to our little one without being able to say hello. After that we were able to get away to Florida for a holiday weekend with my family. Once we returned I had a cyst removed from my face that had been bothering me for months but I had been putting off. We also had a lot of work done around our house which kept us on our toes but also set us up for some great pool parties and sunsets this summer. 

Once I was finally cleared to do any activity again I decided to take full advantage of it. We gathered some friends and went to skyzone. I took advantage of being in LA for work and took a trip to Disneyland and rode all the rides. The 2015 All-Star Game was in our city and we did almost every fan event. We went on a scavenger hunt around the city for the All Star Mustaches. We spent a morning exploring All Star Fan Fest. Since the game month coincided with anniversary month we choose to exchange tickets for both the All Star Game and the Home Run Derby. After all the tickets were "paper", right? We also experienced the zip line that went through the entertainment district near the ball park. All Star week was quite the adventure and so exciting to be a part of. 

Now August is here and I can't believe that summer is almost over. Reflecting on the last year as a married couple (which might be my new year in review timeline vs. the new year) and specifically the last few months life has presented us with many challenges. We have been able to overcome those challenges and I think they've only made us stronger together. Yes, this is getting a little sappy but I really cannot imagine life any other way. I wish some of the circumstances had gone a little different but in the end we seem to be happy, healthy, and doing well. Some days are harder than others and some situations continue to challenge us. I know we will continue to carry on and we'll be ready to tackle that next bump in the road whenever we might hit one again. 

Walk a Mile in My Shoes

Within the last year a lot has changed in my world as well as the world around me. Personally it’s been almost one year since my husband and I got married. It’s been over 6 months since traveled across the world to the land down under. And now it’s been over 2 months since we said goodbye without being able to say hello to our baby girl. It’s been a month or more since the Supreme Court ruled in support of gay marriage. There are now over 20 presidential candidates who are daily trying to make their way to top. And Bruce Jenner is now known as Caitlin Jenner. These news stories have stirred up quite the amount of opinions and thoughts across social media and daily conversation that sometimes make me cringe in disappointment or embarrassment for some of the comments that are said.

I’ve learned to live by trying my best not to judge someone based on my own life experiences, beliefs, or opinions. I have realized I have absolutely no idea how I would feel or react in a situation unless I have lived it.

I will never understand how it feels to be in a homosexual relationship and not have the ability to get married. I personally don’t think anyone else should really care that much if two males or females want to get married because they genuinely love each other and want to make a public commitment to each other in front of their family and friends through marriage. It doesn’t affect my life except I know that there will be more love in the world and hopefully in result of that love the world will become a happier place.

I realize I will never know how it feels to have lost an infant child. I have never been in that position. How can I judge how one grieves, how one might struggle through holidays and birthdays, and how one longs to fill that void in their life. Yes, I have suffered loss but in such a different way that I can’t even try to compare my feelings to that situation.

Can I understand why someone would not want to have more than one child? No. I don’t understand their circumstances or feelings on the decision. I cannot even begin to think about how it is to juggle motherhood, a job, a marriage and a social life with one child let alone two. I simply cannot judge someone who feels their family is complete with one child. Nor can I judge someone who says motherhood is hard. I haven’t been in that situation although someday I hope to be so I can realize their struggle was real and these are real life issues people deal with day in and day out.

Should I have the right to judge another woman who was sitting at that clinic with me who was in a totally different situation than I was in? I have no idea what their reason for being there that day was. Was it because they financially couldn’t afford to raise another child? Did they know that they were in a situation where the child would not be safe when coming into this world? Were they in fear of what their parents would do or say to them if they had found out and knew this was the best decision for them? I don’t know. I will never know and honestly I may not always agree with their decision but I will however not judge them. They were strong enough to know that this was the best decision for themselves, their family, and the baby’s life regardless the reasons behind it. I can only respect them for making the best decision for them at the present moment.

Should I expect someone to attempt to put their selves in my situation and hypothetically determine what they would have done? Of course people have and I’m sure they have judged me and not agreed with my decision. I understand it is hard not to try to understand by trying to put your own feelings and thoughts in those tough situations. But I will advise from my personal experiences don’t judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. Be conscious of the things you might say as they might be offensive and unintentionally hurt someone else. Now I’m not saying you’re not entitled to your own opinion I’m just saying sometimes those opinions are better expressed in different ways or different situations.  Everyone has been given their own life to live and navigate. Just like no two snowflakes are alike no two people’s lives are going to be exactly the same. This is was make life so interesting and exciting. There are always new things to learn and new people to meet and learn their story. Keep on experiencing life and sometimes realize you may not understand someone’s struggles or successes until you have walked a mile in their shoes.