Brave

Ever since I can remember I was always the one strived to put on a brave and strong face for anything that was thrown to me in life. I'm sure this wasn't always the case but as I grew up that was the way I was taught to react. I'm not sure if is an oldest child trait or not but either way I'm sure it was something I was taught by my father. He would always put me in situations I did not feel comfortable in such as meeting people I didn't know, answering the company phone, and calling businesses or people for things he needed taken care of. And of course he acted the same way. I do not ever recall seeing my father cry and he always wore a brave face.

This lesson transferred into my personal as well as professional life. Personally, I'm the one who rarely cries when hurt or in sad or happy situations, hides any emotion related to being apprehensive or nervous, and over all wearing a tough skin.  So now in the infertility situation I found myself in I tried to carry that brave face into all of my doctors appointments and procedures. I entered them all with confidence and the realization that I was ready to accept whatever the medical professionals had to say. I went to pretty much all of these appointments solo and no offense to my amazing husband but that was the way I preferred it. It was easier to be brave alone then with someone by my side.

This all made perfect sense as I reflected on the first time I performed by injection alone. I escaped from a party we were having in our house upstairs to do the injection alone and all by myself. The original plan was for my mom to do the injection again but I had been given some strong encouragement from a friend that I could probably do it on my own and that brave persona I have came out strong and I was ready to give it a try. So I went up to the master bath, got everything ready, and went for it! Of course my heart was beating and I was shaking my the time I was done but I did it. I did it on the first time and on the first try and had no issues. I was pretty proud of myself at this time. And I was also glad that I had gained by independence back. I was going to be able to do the injections myself and make it through the next few weeks without having to rely on someone else to administer the medication. This was a huge relief moving forward!

           Here's my injection goodies!